As much as I would like the title of this post to simply be a quote from a classic movie ("Beauty and the Beast" for those who may not know), it is actually a tale of terror.
I needed some motivation today so I decided maybe some sunshine would help. I went to the living room window to open the blinds only to find a very large, very fuzzy, blackish/gray spider perched on one of the blind slats. I rushed to the kitchen to get the fly swatter. As I approached the window I realized I could no longer see the spawn of Satan anywhere. I immediately started searching for the creature. How could this be? I was only gone for seconds. How could he have disappeared so quickly?
Then suddenly my heart felt like it plummeted to my stomach. I instantly dropped the fly swatter and started shaking my clothes and hair while dancing... okay, violently throwing my body around the room. Did it jump on me as I turned to leave the room moments before? Had he sensed my plan to "get" him so now he was carrying out an evil defense plan to get me first? I came to the conclusion that it wasn't on me. Okay, good. Now what, though? I walked to the entrance of the room and tried to assess the situation from a safe distance. Where could it be? I walked back over to the window and peeked through the open slats to see if I could see anything, all the while feeling like I was being watched. Oh yes, I know he is sitting there somewhere, peering down at me, laughing, thinking 'She'll never find me now and even if she does she won't come anywhere near me. She knows I will scurry in her direction, maybe jump a little, and she will run screaming from the room.'
I returned to my thinking zone, away from the window, wondering what to do. I could shake the curtains, move the couch, open the blinds with the string rather than the stick. I know if I do nothing I will not only spend every day wondering what room he may have wandered into but I will be spending every night awake, looking around the room, hoping it hasn't ended up in any of the family member's beds. Doing nothing is not an option. I must kill the beast.
To be continued.....
So here's the update. It wasn't nearly as entertaining as the original event. I forgot to follow up earlier.
About two weeks after this experience, I was sweeping the kitchen floor. I saw a dried up leaf from a plant and swept across it with the broom. Suddenly, it started moving. It wasn't a leaf. It was a spider. THE spider. There he was, the furry little creature that I had seen previously. He ran under the water cooler and I quickly yelled for my husband to come to my rescue.
Here he came, my knight in shining armour. Valiant, brave and strong. He moved the water cooler and said, "This little thing is what has been scaring you?" I said, "Well, its not THAT little." He proceeded to kill the spider... sorry to any creature friends out there, we have a rule around here that if the creature is outside it can live but if it enters our home, anything goes. After the deed was done I made the comment to my husband that the little spider made it pretty far in his travels. To which my husband replied, "I'll bet it jumped on your shoulder when you opened the blinds and you brought it to the kitchen."
Well, so much for my knight in shining armour. Thanks, honey, for the happy thoughts.
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